Last week my friend Carla and I went to the Eli Broad Museum in East Lansing. She had a photograph in one of the exhibits there (yes, not only do I love art, but I love the people who make it!) so we wanted to see it on display. It was lovely of course, (I only hobnob with the best of the best.) and so was all the other artwork on display*.

An artist by the name of Emily Somoskey had six mixed media pieces on display. She is from Akron, OH but earned her MFA at Michigan State (Go Green! Go White!) For you locals, she also did the mural on the wall outside the Division St. parking garage. 

Of the six at Eli Broad, the 2D piece below was my favorite. Carla chose a different favorite. We are still friends because you can have different opinions and still be friends (take note, social media! Politicians! Yankees and Red Sox! Lovers of ebooks and people who only read “real” books!)

I loved the colors in this and the fun, scattery vibe.

Carla’s favorite. More great colors!

Let me take this opportunity to put a plug in for art museums all over. We were the only guests at the Eli Broad and the employees looked really happy to see us. Plus, the artists have been waiting for their displays to be up and open to the public for several months (or maybe their entire lives!) If you’re missing art, go visit! It’s safe, it’s fun, it’s beautiful! Or it’s video. But you might have a nice time anyway.

 *Except the video art. I never, ever like the video art.

The last few days I’ve been watching the Oscar-winning movie, Frida, featuring Salma Hayek as Frida Kahlo. First things first, don’t watch this with your kids. Don’t even watch this with your kids in the general vicinity of your house.

Diego: I always had a soft spot for him because of the mural he did in my beloved home state. But he was actually horrible. The movie makes him a little sympathetic, but I won’t be fooled. He was a Communist, adulterer (he had an affair with Frida’s sister, which is even worse than your sister borrowing your favorite shirt without asking), and there’s a rumor he dabbled in cannibalism. He claimed to enjoy human brain. Even if that’s a lie, it’s a weird thing to lie about. Nonetheless, he was an artist and this is a blog about all kinds of art. Even that which is done by a Trotsky-adoring weasel. (I did not know who Trotsky was. He was Stalin’s rival, but they were two sides of the same coin.)

So here is a Rivera mural. It was in Rockefeller Center for juuuuuust a moment before they scraped it off. It wasn’t what the Rockefellers and Rivera agreed upon, but the Rockefellers were willing to concede, if only Rivera would remove Stalin from the painting. Rivera refused and all his hard work was scraped into the dumpster. (I’m shrugging as I type, like “what did you expect, buddy?”)

Can you spot the Commie?

Later, Rivera repainted the mural in Mexico. I can only liken this to the time my puppy unraveled the baby blanket I was knitting. I vowed I would not reknit it, but then, when enough time had passed and my wounds were healed, I did. Same sort of thing, I think.

Frida: Let’s talk Frida, who in life wasn’t as well-known as her nutty husband, but now is way more famous. I don’t know how exact the depiction was in the movie, but from what I’ve read, it was quite accurate. Even if it was just a pinch truthful? That girl was a firecracker. And forgiving. So very forgiving of Rivera. Maybe because she was having her own affairs with… Trotsky! Rivera’s beloved Trotsky! This is the stuff telenovela’s are made of.

Kahlo did not have an easy life. She suffered crippling pain almost her entire life from a bus accident in her teenage years, she married a jerk, she couldn’t have the children she desperately wanted, and she lost her leg to gangrene. Yet. She was funny (serious people do not take ownership of their facial hair the way Kahlo did), talented, and vivacious. She is quoted as saying, “Nothing is worth more than laughter. It is strength to laugh and to abandon oneself, to be light. Tragedy is the most ridiculous thing.” And she seemed to laugh as much as she cried.

Frida was a pro at self-portraits. She painted 55 of them over her career. Here are two of the most famous. The one she gave to Trotsky is my favorite. 

Trotsky’s wife made him leave this gift from Frida behind when they moved.

Rivera gave her the monkey on her shoulder as a gift. Literally and figuratively.

If you’re looking for an entertaining, informative biography, I recommend Frida (it’s on Netflix) the next time your kids are far, far away.

Good news! New York City’s museums are opening up this week, for the first time since March! Welcome back, Met! Welcome back, MoMA! You too, Guggenheim! Whitney! Frick! Isn’t it grand? I think we all tried some of the virtual tours these museums offered during lockdown, but (shocker!) it just wasn’t the same. Of the museums listed, I’ve only been to the Met. But I’ve done extensive research (lie) and I’m going to feature the most famous piece of art at each of these in celebration of their grand re-openings.

First up, the Mack Daddy of NYC museums: The Metropolitan Museum of Art. Remembering all the incredible art here makes me immediately regret committing to “the most famous piece” as promised in the last paragraph. Impossible. So, I’m picking my favorite of the most famous pieces. Here’s a little painting that may look familiar- it’s only Degas’ MASTERPIECE, Dance Class.

Degas’ paintings are en pointe.

I love the subject (sometimes I have to talk myself down from the “Was Degas a pervert?” cliff, but once I do I just love his art so much.) The colors in this one are particularly beautiful, I think. The girls’ postures are incredible too. I love that he didn’t just paint them dancing, or at their very best, most poised selves. Instead, they’re tired, bored, maybe cursing out the girl who got the lead in Swan Lake, or contemplating the last episode of “Dance Moms.” I love it all.

Next, we have MoMA, where “modern” is a pretty relative term, if you ask me. The obvious choice here, is The Starry Night by our boy VVG. But I’m going to buttonhook you and go with The Sleeping Gypsy by Henri Rousseau.

This was painted in 1897, btw. See what I mean about “modern?”

When I remember Rousseau was mostly self-taught, I want to put my fist through a wall. That is an unfair amount of talent. I love the colors in this one too, the detail, but also the simplicity. Also, what a bizarre subject choice. I’d love to have café au lait with Henri and ask, “Now the gypsy with the lion. Were you drawing from life experience, or….?”

The Guggenheim has the most fun name of the NYC art museums (rivaled only by Frick, in my opinion) and some super fun art to boot. The most viewed piece there is Kandinsky’s Composition 8, which was also the first Kandinsky Solomon Guggenheim acquired. When we were locked down, we had an art recreation competition and my daughter drew a similar Kandinsky (confession: they all kind of look the same to me.) and it won first place and a high five from me! I also must must must encourage you to Google “Puppy” at the Guggenheim because it’s another super fun piece.

Funky!

Gertrude Whitney opened her museum after the Met refused her donation of 700 pieces of art. What the heck, Met? Bad form. The Whitney is now home to beautiful art, and gets to boast that Jackie O. came to the opening. Did she go to the Met’s opening? No, she did not. Because she wasn’t born.

I hemmed and hawed over a piece of art to pick from the Whitney, but in the end, the sunset behind this Cape Cod won. Game, set, match, if you will. Edward Hopper vacationed in Cape Cod and sunsets are always prettier on vacation. I think he nailed this one.

My grass is that same color right now. We need rain.

Frick is not just an ersatz for a bad swear word, it also boasts some of the best art in the world, including two of the sixteen known Vermeers! A fun fact about Vermeer is that he was well-respected with cartographers (aka “Map Scientists”) for his fantastic depictions of globes and maps, as seen on the wall in this painting.

Why did cuffs like his ever go out of style?

I love Officer and a Laughing Girl because… well, it features a laughing girl. Happy subjects were few and far between back in the day. Obviously, she and the officer ran away together shortly after this painting was complete. (I hope.) Don’t you think they have a sexy Wendy and Captain Hook thing going on? No? Are you frickin’ kidding me? (Couldn’t resist.)

If you live in NYC, you should visit an art museum this week because you can. Also, because “museum” sounds like “you see ‘em.” And that is something to be celebrated.

I don’t think I’m the only one who binge watched many shows during quarantine, am I? Frankly, Netflix was one of the brightest spots in my life. You know, besides my husband and kids. So, I feel the need to pay some respect to the shows that saw me through those long hard days of nothingness. My quarantine was also sponsored by Wine and Ice Cream.

That last paragraph read really pitifully, but I refuse to make apologies.

Cheer: My brother recommended this to me at the very beginning of quarantine. As if we needed more proof that he knows me really really well- I loved it! I watched it every day on the treadmill and got in amazing shape (just kidding. But I was SUPER excited to run every day!) Then my whole family watched it and I received great texts like, “Dad legit just flipped down the hall and into his office.” Cheer brought us Jerry, whose bright smile and mat talk dragged my bored, stagnant body through quarantine.

I couldn’t think of any cheerleading themed art off-hand, but I knew just who to Google. And guess what? Norman Rockwell did not disappoint. Here are two great illustrations he made of cheerleaders. Honestly, I think both exemplify our nation’s emotional state during the pandemic pretty well. Amiright?

I can feel all these emotions in a ten-minute time frame on a normal day.

But quarantine had me like….

Tiger King: “Hey all you cool cats and kittens!” Tiger King holds a special place in my heart because Jim and I watched it together, and there aren’t many things we agree on Netflix-wise. But this bizarre docuseries had it all: ridiculous haircuts for Jim to enjoy and sexy men for me to enjoy. Haha. It gave us something to talk about when we normally would have discussed what the other did that day, or the kids’ activities, or whatever boring facts we thought were interesting before Joe Exotic entered our tigerless lives. Even now that there are finally things to talk about, we might casually mention Carol Baskin, just to spice things up a little.

In honor of the tigers, who undoubtedly got the short end of the stick in that Netflix original, here is Henri Rousseau’s, “Tiger in a Tropical Storm” or “Surprised!”

Covid was a Big Cat-astrophe.

Incidentally, if Rousseau and his friend Matisse were to star in a docuseries, I would totally watch.

Schitt’s Creek: At our very last hockey game before the world shut down, I asked my friend (a prolific Netflixer) what I should be watching. She mentioned a few things that were so-so, then said, “You’ve watched Schitt’s Creek, right?” When I said she hadn’t, she exploded. “WATCH IT IMMEDIATELY.” So I did. Over and over and over. Because it is the best thing on television, if you ask me. And, as it turns out, “fold in the cheese” is an appropriate catchphrase for all situations in the world.

Painters know a thing or two about living in destitution. We would be here all day if we listed all the artists who lost everything in Rose family fashion. Instead, I’d like to pay homage to the beloved motel into which the Rose family is outcast.

Western Motel by Edward Hopper. Notice the lack of poison oak on the nightstand.

Can’t you just see Alexis and David fighting in this room over whose turn it is to get murdered first? Or Moira sitting on the bed saying, “Oh, I’d kill for a good coma right now.”

There you go- three shows I loved so much that I would have watched even without a pandemic lockdown! Thanks Netflix!

The world is opening back up! I don’t want to brag, but last week I had dinner IN A RESTAURANT! Mexican, obviously. I ate my free chips and salsa and enjoyed my Diet Coke refills until my food came and I had to take it home because I was already stuffed. It was glorious. In addition to enjoying food in a restaurant, I also watched my kids skate for the first time since March, kissed my nephew’s fat baby cheeks blatantly, and without a mask, and we’ve been seeing friends! Friends friends friends! And not over FaceTime, but IRL!

“The Chair” Van Gogh made this as a sort of portrait of Gaugin. Pre-ear situation.

“GE Short Line & Reading”

I don’t know what’s taken me so long, but after spending last week out west, visiting some national parks, and driving through the incredible western scenery, it occurred to me. We need to talk about Ansel freakin’ Adams.

First off, here are some fun facts about one of the most famous photographers in the world:

• 1.   First off, his name is hot: Ansel Easton Adams. He was going to be successful no matter what he did, amiright?
• 2.   Secondly, he contracted the Spanish flu and survived! Yay, pandemic survivors!!
• 3.   Adams was a gifted piano player; his initial plan was to make a living being a pianist… then he got a camera.
• 4.  It’s thanks to Ansel that there is a photography section at MoMA.
• 5.  His first and favorite national park to photograph was Yosemite. In his day, there were only 28 national parks, and he photographed 27 of them. He never did make it down to the Everglades.

But what about his art? 

I think you have to be half-crazy to scale this thing.

His most famous photo, I think, is Monolith, the Face of Half-Dome. It’s also one of his earliest works. He had one shot left and took a risk, using a glass plate that altered the tone of the picture. It worked. He claimed, “I had been able to realize a desired image: not the way the subject appeared in reality but how it felt to me…”

Here is another photograph you may have seen: Moonrise, Hernandez, New Mexico. 

My moon pictures NEVER look like this.

How stunning is this photograph? And he just took it from the shoulder of the road, all nonchalant. My pictures from the car are blurry and crooked, but it’s fine. Totally fine. If you zoom in a little you can see the church and little white crosses of the graveyard giving the whole photo an eerie feel.

Finally, one I love, because it’s one of my favorite places to visit:

That river curves in all the right places.

It looks angry and majestic. If you didn’t know better, you’d think the river was superimposed. How could a river be so perfectly winding? And the clouds? Did he have those brought in for the photo shoot? They’re so perfect. If you’re interested, this photo is for sale for a Grand (Te)ton of money: $775,000.

Otherwise, feel free to enjoy my crappy picture for free: